World’s Religions Label Biden vs. Trump “A Stark Moral Choice Between Pretty Good and Evil”

A consortium of the world’s religions released an unprecedented, if tepid, joint statement today in support of Democrat Joe Biden’s run for the American presidency.

“The race between Joe Biden and Donald Trump presents a stark moral choice between pretty good and evil,” the statement reads.

At a virtual press conference announcing the consortium’s stance, Pope Francis reiterated his 2016 criticism of Trump: “A person who thinks only about building walls … and not of building bridges, is not Christian. This is not the gospel.” Asked about Biden, the pontiff merely said, “Good enough.”

The Dalai Lama opined that Trump’s presidency has been defined by “a lack of moral principle,” citing policies on climate change and immigration. Asked about Biden, the bodhisattva smiled and said, “He’ll do.”

An anonymous member of the consortium identified only as “the God of Abraham” added, “All men have eaten of the forbidden fruit and sinned against the Lord. But believe me, I know, comparing Mr. Biden’s sins against Mr. Trump’s is like comparing apples to orchards.”

While not all of the world’s roughly 4000 religions joined in the statement, only two organizations have explicitly rejected it: The Church of Satan and Westboro Baptist Church.

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